Top 5: Things I Hate

Admittedly, hate is a very strong word and probably a little too strong for most of what’s listed below. But here’s my long overdue sequel to Top 5: Things I love.

1. Fizzy drinks/Soda

As far as I’m concerned the only good Coke is a flat Coke and even then only when I’m pregnant or extremely hung over. And thanks to the successful outcome of the former (twice) I rarely get to experience the latter.  As far as I’m concerned Coke and all its fizzy friends have no nutritional content of value and very little hydrating ability.  But that isn’t why I’m including them on this list.  My gripe with them here is because they cause gas and I’m fed up with sitting in meetings with people who consume a drink at the beginning of the meeting, only to spend the next 30 minutes holding down a belch. Folks, just so you’re aware you can never conceal a burp, or hold it down for any length of time. If you’re going to be around other people, please avoid having fizzy drinks beforehand. Otherwise you just gross people out

2. 30 minute meetings

Little of any value can be achieved in 30 minutes. Invariably half of the attendees are 5 minutes late, you then spend a good couple of minutes chewing the fat and providing context to the meeting, leaving little more than 20 minutes to achieve your goal.  If you’re setting up a meeting, chances are it’s because you need a discussion around something and/or decisions made.  If there’s more than four people in the room this will never happen in 20 minutes as chances are the group will rat-hole on the first point of your agenda if you’re lucky, or a related but ‘not relevant for today’ topic if Lady Luck is not on your side.  The end result is you don’t have the decisions you need, a follow-up meeting is required – which will only be 30 minutes again because as a follow-up meeting folks won’t consider more time is required. And so you’re back to square one…

3. Disposable Cups

Or rather the lids. I’m as guilty as the next person at using a few of these each day as I buy coffee on my way to work and then have a handful of hot drinks throughout the day in the office.  The lids are great – and when used for drinking on the go serve a great purpose. But do we really need to put a lid on our cup for the short walk from the kitchen to our our desks/meeting room?  As adults aren’t we capable of carrying a hot beverage without spilling it?  Apparently not as we’re all guilty of the above.  And what’s more when was the last time you drank from a disposable coffee cup without a lid?  Try it – it feels wrong, almost as if something’s missing. It’s like we are slowly but surely losing confidence in our ability to drink from a wide rimmed vessel. I’m convinced, as a result, we’re breeding a generation of sippy cup drinkers.  I vow from now on to not put a lid on my drink unless I’m taking my cup of coffee in the car.   My challenge to you is to join me - think of the all the waste we’ll save.

4. Plastic knives and forks

In a campus that employs over 40,000 real cutlery is not plausible. I get that. But trying to eat anything other than overcooked pasta with a plastic fork is like trying to spear a fish with a soggy twig. It’s just never going to deliver a good end result. I can’t fix this problem but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy with the current state of affairs. If anyone knows anyone who is remotely connected to the disposable cutlery industry please encourage them to do a complete redesign to make more effective. 

5. Parking too close to your neighbor

Anyone who’s got children knows that trying to get an infant car seat into the back of the car can be a challenge, particularly once said infant grows beyond its newborn, light as a feather status.  When Jemima was small we were in the UK and public car parks invariably posed a problem as parking spaces are smaller and even when parked correctly they don’t always allow enough room to open a passenger door to its full extent. I loved Sainsbury’s when they introduced wider ‘Parent & Child’ spaces.  By the time we moved here she was out of an infant car seat and spaces are normally bigger so it was less of a problem. But since Billy was born, it seems the majority of spaces are marked as ‘Compact’ so slightly smaller – yet still perfectly big enough for my Honda CRV, and an infant car seat insertion procedure.  So all is good – unless the car that parks next to me is not a Ram 2500 four door truck.  Newsflash to the owner of such vehicles – THEY ARE NOT COMPACT! Last week I returned to my car at work to find a truck parked just four inches from my car.  There was not even enough room for me to get in the driver’s side. I had to go in the passenger side and climb over. Luckily I was child free so it was merely an annoyance. Had I had Billy with me I would have probably have had to seriously fight the urge to run my keys down the side of that truck.   People: be considerate, park in size appropriate spaces, park correctly and we should all be able to get in and out of our cars easily, with or without children.

 

I now declare today’s rant officially over. Thank you and goodnight!